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rcknrdhd05
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Name: Robin
Birthday: 4/30/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: playing the guitar, listening to the guitar, yoga, art of all kinds, computer mischief, stuffing tacos at my cousin Whitey's bar (non racist i assure you), being with all my best friends, and daydreaming of the beach in So. Cali and my futute dream guy...ahhhh
Expertise: expertise....hmmm im one hell of a Taco Queen let me tell you....Come to Whitey's in Hamilton, Ill. on any given Tuesday from 5-9 and I'll be there to make you a mean Taco ;)
Occupation: Other
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: nibz2005@hotmail.com
AIM:  rcknrdhd05
Yahoo:  rcknrdhd2005
Member Since:
5/19/2004
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| welp...i did really good tonight...didnt talk to him all day or all night....then his ex showed up....he left then.....came back....then right as im getting ready to leave...he wants to make conversation...small talk mostly...but he was going to keokuk with his friends and was telling me how he really didnt want to go and would have rather went home to watch a movie or "play my games" *pause* (that was referring to how i told him i was tired of playing his games last night im sure)...yea thats my cue to say "well ill watch a movie with you" or something....but instead i took the high road...i said "well then go home, that's what im doing" he just looked at me, changed the subject, and then left with his friends to go to keokuk....and the great thing is im not sad about it....if he really wants to spend time with me he can make the effort but im done following him around...just the fact that he came up to me and made hints at me coming over makes me feel better about myself...its time for him to make the effort...he says to stay away from him bc hes bad for me....then i will...and we'll see if he stays away from me... | | |
| worst feeling in the world? the moment when ur sitting there and actually wake up to realize you don't know where the hell you are in life...i dont wanna go thru this again...ive lost just about everything taht means something to me...everything in the last entry is still pretty much in the same standing...im not gonna start talkin about suicide or whatever...i know im too much of a chicken shit and it would make me sound like a fucking retard...i need to move on with stuff...i gotta stop with the bar shit...i gotta stop with kenny...i gotta stop being stupid and make a life for myself or im never gonna get anywhere...i fell in love with the wrong person...even he says im too good for him...maybe i should take a hint...im 18 fucking years old...time to wake up....ive lost all my friends...they dont give a shit...im so alone right now...what a fucking loser i am....im such a loser...all i do is hurt myself on a daily basis...my whole life is disappearing before my eyes...no ones gonna read this...no one is gonna care...no one is gonna help...if im so fucking wonderful like everyone likes to tell me and fill me full of bullshit with then why cant i find someone to love me? why am i such a loser...why dont i have the motivation to make anything go right...god im such a fucking retard...i wish i could disappear | | |
| what the hell am i doing? i dont even know what to write...i feel im losing all the friends i ever had...drinkin all the time...in love with a guy who doesnt want to even be with me...im a retard...and no one reads this shit anyway so im just going to vent...i think im moving in with a girl in hamilton...my cousins girlfriend...im tired of typing...who cares anyway | | |
| im extremely angry right now and i have a huge headache...so this alex girl from hamilton won't leave me alone and i really dont understand what the hell her problem is...shes going out with chris...and that really doesnt bother me...i was happy for them...i called him just to see how things were going...knowing that he was with alex and not trying to start anything! then it turns into stop calling my man and spreading rumors im pregnant or something really dumb...and now shes everywhere i go and all her friends call me a whore and stuff...im confused...but whatever thats fine...my cousin was trying to get me to go fight her or something tonight...and ive thought about it....but what would it accomplish anyway...1. i would most likely go to jail 2. it wouldn't end anything, just make it worse 3. its stupid and i dont have a reason to fight her in the first place... and just for the record im not scared of the girl at all...i would smoke her....but honestly if they're so happy together then why the hell is she so paranoid about other girls...jesus christ....yea me and chris have a huge history...and thats exactly what it is...history...i wish the best for him...wish i could make her realize that....me and chris will never work out...we've tried what 15 times?? besides it was two years ago...if i really wanted him back dont u think i would have tried within that 2 year period??? maybe i can talk to nikki, shes like the only girl i know thats firends with alex...
and the other reason im pissed off...ive had 2 hours of sleep...just as im pulling up i see lane driving by my house..turns out he was double checkin to see if i was home b4 he went home...so im wasted and i make him take me to mcdonalds...and he tells me hes going to jail for at least 6 months...so i figure ok well the boys leaving monday for jail ill stay up and talk to him for a little while...cuz hes been trying to get ahold of me leaving notes on my car and stuff...plus im part of the reason he has a felony charge...he got busted buyin me flowers with stolen checks...now lane has a girlfriend...and there is nothing but a friendship between me and lane anymore...BUT on comes the drama...we're sittin at my house and im dozing off and hes like dont go to sleep stay up and talk to me...i really tried...but anyway i wake up dehydrated at like 6 and hes sleepin on my couch...and his pager is going off over and over....his girlfriends phone is ringing over and over and all i can think is great now i have yet another girl pissed off at me for something i didnt do....i get pissed off at lane cuz i have to go to work in a few hours and i had 2 hours of sleep!! then he calls me megan!!! im like im not your fucking girlfriend and shes calling keeping me up so go tend to her....so he gives me a guilt trip saying how sorry he is that im mad...walks out...walks back in...apologizes again....god i love the boy but seriously i dont want another girl all mad at me...nothing happened!!! and wasnt going to happen...why is it always ME that gets in these ridiculous messes..over and over and over and over and over and over...guys are jack asses...and girls are drama queens....thats the way the world turns whether u want to admit it or not....now im not saying theres no exceptions....i try really hard to stay away from it...but for some god damn reason drama absolutely loves to put me in the middle of everything......oh yeah and i really miss bre....i wish things never got so messed up...she was the best friend i could ever ask for...and just thinking about it makes me never want to talk to another guy again...seriously if a guy tries to hit on me tonight at work i will probably pour their drink in their lap and tell them to fuck themselves bc im really tired of guys and their penises....not that theres a difference | | |
| you are the question..i need an answer...you'd never know how scared i was...falling in love....
you would talk softly...you are a riddle...and i felt so innocent...standing in your eyes....
so hear me now....ill scream out loud....can't figure out how you entered into my word....and i fall down | | |
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